The Six Critical Skills in Assertive Communications:
✦ Active Listening
✦ Speaking Up
✦ Managing Emotions in self and others
✦ Managing Self Esteem in self and others
✦ Giving & Receiving Feedback and Disclosure
✦ Transferring your understanding into experience
We have covered Active Listening & Speaking Up and Managing Emotions in our previous blogs. You can catch up by clicking on the words above. For this content, we will focus on Feedback, Disclosure and wrap up with Transfer of Learning.
What is Feedback?
✦ Feedback is essential for development in assertive communication.
✦ Giving feedback is a test or your ability to communicate assertively.
✦ Assertive feedback is never critical, it focuses on the person’s strengths and aims at developing these to an optimum level.
✦ Why is disclosure an important part of Assertive Communication?
• Three good reasons to disclose information about yourself:
1. Disclosure must give information about yourself that other people would not normally know. (Specifically to do with ‘Strengths & Weaknesses’.)
2. Sharing information about an area you might be vulnerable in and need assistance, helps build trust and respect.
3. It can confirm some of the feedback which has been given Assertive feedback is never critical, it focuses on the person’s strengths and aims at developing these to an optimum level.
Participative Management encourages the involvement of stakeholders at all levels of company in analysis of problems, development of strategies and implementation of solutions.
✦ Creating an assertive culture is dependent on Accountability and Transparency.
✦ Feedback & Disclosure are essential in developing participative management.
✦ Participative management is core to a performance based culture.
How to build performance based culture through participative culture:
✦ Clarify and communicate values.
✦ Reinforce positive behaviour.
✦ Encourage open communication.
✦ Trust, train and provide freedom within limit (employee empowerment).
✦ Collect feedback.
How to provide feedback through Assertive Communication:
✦ Adopt a positive approach.
✦ Be constructive.
✦ Evaluate the behaviour not the person.
✦ Respect the other person’s dignity (time, location, etc).
The objective of feedback & disclosure – where ever possible – is to move people from negative
emotions to positive emotions. (By catching somebody doing something right.)
Simple Sentences for you to express an assertive stance in a conversation:
✦ How do begin to give somebody feedback:
“In our meetings we end with feedback on team performance; we can also give feedback on individual performance if you like?”
✦ When “disclosing” to others, it is good to always start with:
“There is something I need to share with you, if you think it is appropriate at this time?”
✦ Other Examples:
"Do we have a shared understanding, & can we move to what needs to be done?”
“Let’s keep the focus on the facts of the situation.”
“I value your opinion, please share with me what you feel about the situation?”
“So what do you feel is the outcome we need to achieve?”
“I understand that this is important for you, please share with me your feedback?”
“I understand why you are (angry / nervous) so why don’t we focus on the solution?”
“What can we achieve if we decide to do this?”
The Transfer of Learning:
Bridging understanding, experience and skilled assertive communication.
Strategic Aspects to help you be more assertive:
✦ Try to always start with a “Shared Understanding” of the situation.
✦ Moving to “Mutual Agreement” - what must happen in the future.
✦ Creating an assertive culture, most people need to communicate assertively.
Actions that help generate the Assertive Culture:
✦ You are a “Role Model” so what you say and do is important.
• Accountability: (The outcome rests on both shoulders)
- When you have agreed to do something – just do it. No excuses.
• Responsibility: (The outcome rests on one shoulder).
- When delegating tasks, they become responsible for the outcome.
• Stick to the facts:
- Don’t go on “hear say” make sure you are dealing with reality.
- Focus on the situation not the person.
Keep in mind that an assertive person will:
• Encourage effective two-way communication
✦ Be Constructive:
• Aim at positive outcomes.
✦ Be Respectful:
• Create mutual respect by Managing Emotions & “Self Esteem”
Three Questions to check the “Assertive Culture”:
✦ How many people participated in the meeting?
✦ Was there “Constructive Criticism”?
✦ Was the objective of the meeting achieved?
To become more skilled and competent as an“Assertive Communicator” , it requires you to keep putting into practice the principles of Assertive Communication.
For Further Information on the Assertive Communication Workshops, please go to subscribe to our website. Or contact us at +66 840 073107, or email us @ email@example.com.